I Don't Wanna Go!!

Sadly, this time tomorrow I will be making sure that I have everything ready to go back to work (school) on Monday.  (Excuse me while I wipe away the tears.)  I know I should be thankful in this economy that I actually have a job, but just thinking about returning to "that place" makes me want to toss my cookies.  (And who really wants to waste that chocolaty chip goodness?) 

I LOVE being a librarian.  I love being able to match readers with books I think they'll enjoy, and then having those same readers return and ask for more.  Unfortunately, I don't really get to do that part of my job anymore.  Instead, I have to point students in the general direction of where the book should be located while attempting to juggle all of the other responsibilities that administration and this school district has decided to dump on me. My job is no longer fun. 

I know that some of you are saying, "Oh poor thing.  She has the whole summer off, weekends, and holidays.  We should really feel so sorry for her."   My response is--obviously you've never taught.  Even when I was in the classroom, I didn't get those times off.  I graded papers evenings, all weekend (just ask my dad), and summers were filled with workshops and other jobs so that I could pay the bills.  I resented my time being constantly centered around my job so I decided to leave and find something different.  I liked working with the students and helping them find books, so I decided to go back to school and become a librarian.  Now it seems, that I'm in the same predicament.  My problem is, I don't have the money to go back to school and I'm not sure what direction I want to go .

Yes, I have definitely prayed about it.  In fact, I've been praying for several years.  The last response I received a little over a year ago was: Nashville, Tennessee.  WHAT?!?!  I've never been to Nashville.  The only things I know about Nashville are that it's the home of most things music and that it's similar to Tampa as far as size and suburbs go.  Otherwise, I have no idea where to even start there.  I know there are a few publishing houses, which would be AWESOME to work for, but I have no idea what I would do there.  (Although at this point, cleaning toilets is sounding pretty good.)  I'm horrible with grammar (in case you hadn't noticed) and I'm not pushy enough to be an agent, nor do I have enough contacts.  I would love to design the layout of the books and maybe even do something with the artwork on the cover, but I have no idea what qualifications I would need to even attempt to apply for a job like that.  Not to mention the fact, I would need a job that could pay the bills, and I would need to find a place to live if I move up there.  (Don't worry, I'm saving my pennies now so I can try and get up there sometime this year so that I won't write another post like this next year.)

So, I guess all of this is to ask you to please pray for me.  I'm already getting off to a rocky start because I'm kicking and screaming about going back.  But I really need direction in what I'm supposed to do next--especially with Nashville seemingly on the horizon.