I Don't Wanna Go!!

Sadly, this time tomorrow I will be making sure that I have everything ready to go back to work (school) on Monday.  (Excuse me while I wipe away the tears.)  I know I should be thankful in this economy that I actually have a job, but just thinking about returning to "that place" makes me want to toss my cookies.  (And who really wants to waste that chocolaty chip goodness?) 

I LOVE being a librarian.  I love being able to match readers with books I think they'll enjoy, and then having those same readers return and ask for more.  Unfortunately, I don't really get to do that part of my job anymore.  Instead, I have to point students in the general direction of where the book should be located while attempting to juggle all of the other responsibilities that administration and this school district has decided to dump on me. My job is no longer fun. 

I know that some of you are saying, "Oh poor thing.  She has the whole summer off, weekends, and holidays.  We should really feel so sorry for her."   My response is--obviously you've never taught.  Even when I was in the classroom, I didn't get those times off.  I graded papers evenings, all weekend (just ask my dad), and summers were filled with workshops and other jobs so that I could pay the bills.  I resented my time being constantly centered around my job so I decided to leave and find something different.  I liked working with the students and helping them find books, so I decided to go back to school and become a librarian.  Now it seems, that I'm in the same predicament.  My problem is, I don't have the money to go back to school and I'm not sure what direction I want to go .

Yes, I have definitely prayed about it.  In fact, I've been praying for several years.  The last response I received a little over a year ago was: Nashville, Tennessee.  WHAT?!?!  I've never been to Nashville.  The only things I know about Nashville are that it's the home of most things music and that it's similar to Tampa as far as size and suburbs go.  Otherwise, I have no idea where to even start there.  I know there are a few publishing houses, which would be AWESOME to work for, but I have no idea what I would do there.  (Although at this point, cleaning toilets is sounding pretty good.)  I'm horrible with grammar (in case you hadn't noticed) and I'm not pushy enough to be an agent, nor do I have enough contacts.  I would love to design the layout of the books and maybe even do something with the artwork on the cover, but I have no idea what qualifications I would need to even attempt to apply for a job like that.  Not to mention the fact, I would need a job that could pay the bills, and I would need to find a place to live if I move up there.  (Don't worry, I'm saving my pennies now so I can try and get up there sometime this year so that I won't write another post like this next year.)

So, I guess all of this is to ask you to please pray for me.  I'm already getting off to a rocky start because I'm kicking and screaming about going back.  But I really need direction in what I'm supposed to do next--especially with Nashville seemingly on the horizon.

I'm ba-aa-ck!

I spent Thanksgiving at my real Dad's house in Abilene, Texas, and it snowed! Yes-REALLY! While I lived there it never snowed (thank you Lord!), but over the three days I was there for vacation, it did. For those of you that live in the northern regions, you're probably wondering what the big deal is, but I moved to Florida when I was 12--and haven't seen snow since then, so this was a BIG deal!

My step-brothers were making fun of me because I kept looking outside to see if it was still there. After we ate, I went outside to play for a little bit. Let me tell you, after 10 minutes, the thrill was gone. Unfortunately, my brothers decided to lock me outside in the freezing cold! No, I'm not exaggerating--look at the temperature!

In any case, I made some snow bears. The snow wasn't wet enough to roll and make a proper snowman, but I was able to pack it and make the mommy and baby snow bears.

Thankfully, my Dad finally felt sorry for me and let me back in. He had the fireplace roaring, so it didn't take long for me to thaw out. Yippee!

Unfortunately I was only there for three days, so we didn't get a chance to do too much. I didn't even get a chance to see my friends, which was a bummer because there's only so much t.v. that I can watch at a time. We did venture out for a bit on Black Friday

and I was given my Christmas present early--a Zune!!!! (It's Microsoft's answer to the iPod.) Yea--I can finally listen to my music everywhere I go--especially at the airport when I had to leave on a 6:30 am flight. Yep--you read it correctly--that was A.M.--as in o'dark early! It was so early, that I was able to see the sunrise from the plane.

Now, I'm back in sunny Florida! Just look at the pictures I took from the plane!

HELLO TAMPA!!!

In any case, I'm now back to the daily grind and I'm trying to get everything finished before Christmas. YIKES!

Prayer Request:

I'm in the process of looking for another job--whether it's still in the library profession or something completely different--I'm open. God and I have been discussing many things here recently and change is one of them. I've been holding some things very closely (computer time, job, finances, etc.), and He's telling me that I need to loosen my grip and trust Him to take care of me. (Kind of hard for someone that has to do everything for herself or it doesn't get done.) Just keep me in your prayers. Thank you!!!

What have I been up to lately?

PRAYER REQUEST:

I just found out that my pedicurist, Nadine, was involved in a car accident last week and she was pretty banged up. I know she has a ton of appointments that she needs to keep so that the at-fault driver's insurance pays the bills--especially since Nadine does not have health insurance of her own. Please pray for a speedy recovery and no lasting side-effects from the accident. I know money is tight and this couldn't have happened at a worse time for her.

Thank you!

"What have I been doing the past couple of weeks"? you ask. Well, let me show you...

I'm crocheting a blanket for my real dad in Texas. His favorite color is red and it gets REALLY cold there during winter, so hopefully I'll finish it in time for his Christmas present. (If not, his birthday is in January.) The yarn is a feathery chenille and it's so fluffy. Madison enjoys it as well--although she likes to play with the yarn and the crochet hook even more.

My best friend, Judy, retired from the Social Studies classroom and moved to Sylvania, Georgia. She came back last week for a retirement reception in her honor at the school where we first met and worked together. Here's a picture of Judy and her mom. (Of course she'll kill me for putting this picture of her with her mouth open online, so if you don't hear from me for a couple more weeks, you might want to check on me--Judy's REALLY good with a hunting rifle!)

I'm very happy that Judy finally gets a chance to "get out of Dodge" and spend time with her Mom and husband after all of this time, but I'm also a tad bit jealous. If I stick with this particular school system, I have 22 more years before I can retire. :( (Especially since they refuse to accept my year in Texas...Grrrrrr......) I know she's put in her time, but I really miss her. Not only has she been a true friend, she's also been my spiritual mentor since we met. In fact, right before she left, Judy gave me a copy of Beth Moore's study on David with the 90 day devotional journal and the accompanying CD! She also gave me a bracelet that says "With God, all things are possible." Something that I need reminded of on a daily basis.

I've also been helping my grandmother with a project she's working on for my grandfather. Papaw (Hey! I couldn't say Grandpa or Grammy, so we have Papaw and Nanny!) was in the Navy when he was younger and sailed on the U.S.S. Amman. Nanny is working on an album for him and I've been trying to get some negatives and slides of the pictures he took printed so she can use the pictures in the scrapbook she's making for him. These are not the best quality, but here are some of the pictures:

This is Papaw on one of the ships. He was a radioman and typed up all of the messages that came through in Morse Code. Unfortunately, the news came in so fast that he didn't really have time to process the letters he was typing into words. (Too bad--he probably knows all kinds of secrets.) The other picture is of him at one of the piers. I think it's in San Francisco.





I also celebrated my aunt's birthday and gave her an annual pass to DISNEY! She hasn't been to the Magic Kingdom in over 20 years, and I don't think she's ever been to Epcot or MGM or the Animal Kingdom. We're both so excited that I'm not sure we can wait two more months! Nanny has had to peel my aunt off of the ceiling on several occasions so I know it's going to be fun!



Last year we started a tradition for New Year's since we're both single with no prospects. We decided that we would do something fun rather than mope around the house at not having anyone to kiss at the stroke of midnight. (I know, kind of lame, but there it is...) Last year we went on the Murder Mystery Train Ride in Ft. Myers. (Way cool if you've never been!) This year I decided--What better way to have fun than to hang out with Mickey and of course, Pooh Bear!? We're going to see fireworks! (We're even going to Italy and France, since neither one of us is going to make to Europe anytime soon. This also saves on the language lessons we would have to take so she could speak Italian, and I could speak French.)



Otherwise, I've been trying to make it through the drudgery I call my job. I LOVE being a librarian, I just HATE where I'm located and the way our system is run. (That's a sure sign it's time to move on because I feel like I'm not being effective and I don't have a purpose.) I'm really hoping something comes along soon in the public sector, or I may quit and wait tables again to try and pay my bills. Truly--we've had 10 people quit teaching this year and it's only been 2 months! Of course, it's not just at our school, it's everywhere in this county. People are fed up with the increasing workload and no time to get it done.



You see, people seem to think that teachers have weekends off and summers off. I NEVER had a weekend off when I was in the classroom! (You can ask my parents--I was still living with them!) I spent 10 hours a day grading all of the papers I collected over the week because I didn't have time to grade them in the evenings after sitting in traffic for two hours to get home. During the summers, teachers have to go to all of the inservices and workshops and classes to gain credits to keep our teaching certificates. (Those people that think teaching is easy, need to come work in an inner-city school for a couple of months. Okay--I'm stepping off of my soapbox now.)



In any case, I've been in a job identity crisis because I don't know what to do now. Nothing seems to be available in the school system and in the public library system that would pay close to what I'm making now with my time in the system. I know this is God telling me to wait, but I'm truly going to need some major drugs if I have to keep working where I am now. So, I guess this is another prayer request--that I find God's will and purpose for my life--especially one that will pay the bills! :)